I Love This Song

Reflections

In general, I like to muse about the past but at this time of year especially, I find myself looking back over the last 365 days.

2009 has been a year for the books on so many levels. As I sat in our final company meeting of 2009 our CEO asked us to think back to how we all were feeling in February of this year. I felt a little choked up thinking about it. It was a dark period of time at work. Yet as I reflect on the last 12 months I find that my overarching emotion is one of gratitude.

It has not by any stretch been an easy year but I am so thankful for the lessons I've learned, the friends I've made (and kept), the people and company that I work for - and I think it's safe to say that I'm thankful also to see 2009 go. It's been quite a ride!

I hope December 2010 finds me in the same thankful frame of mind.

Bright Star

I have many many indulgences but one of my absolute favorites is artsy movies. When I see a really great one, I just want to tell the world. So, World, here you go:

On Saturday night I went and saw Bright Star at our local indie film theater. It was SO beautifully done. The filming, the music, the words - all of it powerful. If you have the chance to see it, I highly recommend it.

This made me smile

(click to enlarge - you need to read the whole thing)

Today

I'm having one of these:

I am thankful for this little book to remind me that I shouldn't run away to Australia. Even though today, I really REALLY want to.

November 14, 2009

For the last year I've been wondering what should be done to mark the one year anniversary of Michael's death. A few months ago Nate and I started talking about what he wanted to do. I offered to go to Moab with him if he wanted to spend the day at the site where Michael was killed.

Friday, November 13 was a crazy day to try to get out of the Salt Lake Valley. Nate's coworker got sick so he couldn't leave when we had originally planned. And then there was an 8 car pile-up and a crazy driver who caused 4 different accidents throughout the route that we had to use to get out of the valley. Needless to say, we left MUCH later than we had been planning. We got pulled over on the drive down. It wasn't looking like it was going to be a good trip.

But during that drive something happened. Nate, Lizzy and I spent nearly the entire drive talking. About death and where we go/what happens after we die. About what was good and bad about the last year. It was really interesting and healing. And by the time we arrived in Moab (12:30am) we were happy to be there.

Saturday morning we ate breakfast and headed out of the hotel by 10am. It was cold and had rained pretty heavily the night before but the rain subsided as we headed out to "the crash site" as Nate refers to it.

We drove for a long while down a muddy road through some beautiful country until we arrived a most unremarkable spot...except that it was the spot where Michael spent his final moments.

I have spent the last year thinking about this spot and I was glad to finally see it. It was different from what I had imagined.

There were pieces of the 4-wheeler still littering the area a bit and the rock "wall" was crushed by the impact of the 4-wheeler hitting it.

During the 45 minutes that we were there we must have discussed at least 100 times what we thought happened. It is a strange phenomenon - that we continue to try to make sense of something that makes no sense. And that we continue to try to piece together what happened even though it will not change the outcome. Would there really be something healing about knowing all of the details?

{It reads: 11/14/08 My Wingman MD}

After Nate carved his version of a memorial into the rock we left the crash site and went to Looking Glass Rock. We ate lunch and climbed up in the looking glass (archway) part of the rock formation. We stayed only a few minutes before it started to snow and we decided it was time to head back to SLC.




Though it was a quick trip it was worthwhile, I think. For me, it was healing on some level. Nate seemed appreciative of the time and effort as well. It doesn't change anything about the last year but it was a significant date that needed to be marked.

To Prague and Back

{This is the only picture I took while in Prague. This is in the lobby of the Hilton.}

I have returned from the whirlwind trip to Prague. It was far too quick to really be able to say that I was in Prague.

Karl (coworker) and I arrived in Prague late Sunday afternoon. I went to the gym, ate a light dinner and went to bed. Monday was spent in meetings (from 9am-4:30pm) and then a trip across town to have dinner with our old Hilton contact who is now at a little boutique hotel. Tuesday morning we flew home.

I watched 500 Days of Summer on the flight to Prague. It was a sweet movie which made me a little weepy and nostalgic.

I also read. A lot. I finished Jitterbug Perfume (didn't expect to but really enjoyed it) and the third book in the Dexter series: Dexter in the Dark. The Dexter books remind me a lot of John Grisham books: totally predictable but a fun, easy, good airplane read.

The third book - which I wish I would've read before Dexter because by the time I got to it I was tired of reading - was The Samurai's Garden. I only got about a third of the way into the book because my brain was fried by the time I started reading it but I am LOVING it. So beautifully written. It's really delightful.

Tomorrow, I'm headed to Moab with Nate and Lizzy (Jus said he might join us if he doesn't have to work). I'm hoping it will be a good trip. The last few weeks have been a bit of a crazy roller coaster. I hope that the time in Moab will be reflective and meaningful.